What home means. The developmental case for the ordinary house.

In my clinic in Vienna, I ask families to describe their home. Not the physical description — the felt description. 'What does your home feel like?' is a different question from 'how many rooms does your home have?' The answers to the felt question are always more useful. The home that feels safe is neurologically different from the home that feels unpredictable, regardless of size or location.

The research on home as a developmental environment is specific and important. The developing brain uses the home environment as its primary template for what the world is like. A home that is consistent — where the same things happen at approximately the same times, where adults are reliably calm, where conflict is present but resolved — produces a nervous system that expects the world to be manageable. A home that is inconsistent — where nothing is predictable, where conflict is present but unresolved, where adults are unreliable — produces a nervous system that expects the world to be threatening.

The research on home as a developmental environment is specific and important. The developing brain uses the home environment as its primary template for what the world is like. A home that is consistent — where the same things happen at approximately the same times, where adults are reliably calm — produces a nervous system that expects the world to be manageable.