Slow parenting. What it actually means.

Slow parenting is the most misnamed concept in contemporary parenting discourse. It sounds like doing less. It is not about doing less. It is about being present differently — with more attention and less agenda, with less programming and more genuine noticing of what the child is doing with the time available.

My son doesn't know what slow parenting is, and I haven't told him. He knows, from experience, that some times with me feel different from other times. The different times are the slow parenting times — the Saturday afternoon with nothing scheduled, the drive that went a different way because the weather was good, the meal that took longer than usual because the conversation was interesting.

The fifteen to thirty minutes of genuine attention per day is not a large investment. It is three percent of waking hours. Three percent of waking hours, spent in genuine, agenda-free attention to a child, produces measurably better developmental outcomes than the remaining ninety-seven percent of distracted proximity. This is the specific thing that produces the change. The change comes from the practice. The practice comes from the decision to try it once, this week, in the ordinary moment that is already available. This is the specific thing that produces the change.